**The Isle of Isolation**
* * * Hmmmmm............... * * *
SchBroke my visor today, in the end hav to buy another one, think hav to use the tinted one at hm for a while 1st be4 i get the new one. Went to eat breakfast wif vin they all and talked wif andrew they all for a while, ordered a SPEACIAL ORDER of EXTRA eggs for the big breakfast, totally SHIOK man!!! During the last tut for Jason Chung's one, i listened to him speak for a while, understood wat he was tokin abt, but then he seemed very long-winded, in the end i slept wifout noeing it!! after tat wanted to slag a while be4 doin the xml thingy, but then time REALLY flies, be4 i knew it its time to go back, lol, in the end had to go back hm to do the stuff..
Self
rained this evenin, juz when i cant put my visor dwn cause its broken...felt slightly relaxed today cause gt no work after sch, went hm and listened to my mum's 'music' as she rants on abt my visor, abt y is it broken, nt to wear the black one, blah, blah, blah..........After comin back hm, i told myself to stop smokin till 10, juz tryin out, in the end i 'tong' till the time i met neo for supper, tats like near 11.. =p But then nt really enduring it, is juz tat im doin my xml pro thing, then nvr really tot of smokin....durin this time a 'xi ke' was talkin wif me, talked wif yingxi for quite a while be4 i finally stopped everything i was doin and went to eat supper due to hungryness.. Talked abt everything under the suntill my stomach interrupted... but then when she laugh must hear her laugh, cause she gt the type of laughs tat onli little children has, cute and sweet..haha!! In the end went to chong pang nasi lemak wif neo.while we were ther we saw a show by andy lau..nice show, was eatin food and watchin the show like in a cinema like tat (we were seated DIRECTLY in front of the TV) was tellin neo next time must come up wif sumthing like tat for the cinemas, eatin gd food and watching gd movies!! lol!
**Stand still, and be still, when the tides of calamity arises.
then thou shall overcome it all, thee man of great calm..**
SpankyJewels posted at 12:47 AM
* * * Jam * * *
MalaysiaWanted to go wif Vin tonite tog wif JJ and Pearline, but then in the end reached there MAJOR jam!!! No words to say, went past lorries tat smelt like S***, but luckily i went past a MPV wif a kid inside, made faces wif the kid and he played along wif me, sort of lightened up my stress lvl for a while, haha!! In the end we U-turned and ended up in a kopitiam where we saw Boy boy and James, they were stucked there also..Heehee , poor thing..
During slackin at the kopitiam, we talked abt pearline's frd Liyan, she got my admiration when i heard tat she is providing a little for her little bro, little sis, little bit of her family's needs and doesnt seemed perturbed by it all.Somemore she is Pearline's age, 21. She is really a 'Niu Qiang Ren' !! Was tellin them she will make a very gd housewife and will definitely care a lot for her future family.
After fillin Esther up to the brim, i saw one of my SSDC frds there, in the end he also knew Xiao Ti, wat a small world!!
Work
There was alot of ppl at work today, though supervisor was there, it was a really different exp when ur mindset is different, i felt better and even happy workin there for a while, serving this customer, attending to another's request, in the end worked till 10.30, when im supposed to knock off at 9.30. LOL! But then the exp was there so gd!
During break time called Pauline and she 'Pei' me go smoke, she worked juz behind my workplace and this i knew onli cause i saw her yesterday when i was at Mr Bean wif Vin, Pearline and JJ. Was thinking after work jio her go smoke ag, but then worked till so late alr ppl go back liao ah..
Sch
...........
Self
hmmmm...
***Actions speak louder than words....***
SpankyJewels posted at 4:44 AM
* * * Work - Gd or Bad........ * * *
SchYiQing nvr come to sch ag today, dun noe y, hmmmm... Happy's HAPPY ag wif her sickness over i tink.. Haha! Imagine the contradiction when Happy's SAD!! But then, as the saying goes, To err is Human, to forgive is..... : ) Nvr came for the tut and pracs in the early afternoon, cause got a misunderstanding tat i tot was e-learning, Haiz...lucky my attendance is enuff to cover it. Anyway, the pros start alr and everybody is goin to be buzi once ag.. My attitutes' nt very rite when i came to sch today, dun noe is it because of PMS or sumthing, juz couldnt focus my mind rite on the things i should do and nt do, Juz feel irritated and frustrated....
Work
Everythings' fine cept for the supervisor which i SINCERELY hope would nt pick on me ag(IMPOSSIBLE), she can ALWAYS find sumthing to say abt me, wondering if it is because she noes hw much my manager is lookin out for me, i mean, my manager is a very polite and fair gal, whereas my supervisor is an arrogant and petty b***** who cant seemed to stand the sight of guys,LOL! Well, Im staying, FINAL!! Because i noe i will gain sumthing if i can stand these type of ppl, she will cause a prick to my flesh with all the stabbin of my back, but then i noe i can withstand all these nonsense and emerge VICTORIOUS!! HAH! Back to u, LADY! and tats MR ADAM to u!!
Self
feelin moody and lost these days, tryin to keep a straight face but then sumtimes juz cant.. felt tat when i really try to get sumthing done, i get slapped in the face everytime i giv it a shot, discouraging, sad to say. But then nevertheless im still tryin, harder eveytime, its like u noe all the things u need to do to make things rite, but then nth ever seems to go ur way, it always eludes u and makes things so hassling, so difficult to proceed on, breatheless... Imagine u hav juz got a glimmer of hope, then a great big cloud comes and took away everything... I mean, my life's always not goin very smoothly, so Y CANT IT GO SMOOTHLY FOR ONCE????? CANT i taste happiness and peace for a change and enjoy warmth and sunny days, or is it that im reachin that pinnacle in life when EVERYTHING goes wrong? I try so hard to act normal when in shc,but then its oh so hard, its hard when u are tryin to be normal when everythings' in ur life is upside dwn..... But no way am i gonna lose to these challenges, these are but obstacles tat i can pass on, .......
***Lost in the shadows of humanity,
Crumpled to bits as one flee.
Emptiness is but a kind of feelin,
Where one gets when life is goin.
Help is not to be given here,
Searching for nth is the greatest fear.
Lookin thru eyes tat see nt,
hearing thru ears tat hear nt.
Glancing back as the ages flew by,
Watching days go with the blink of an eye.
Have u ever felt this sadness,
or raged on in unknowing madness.
Have u ever been so helpless,
tat the dearest always leave the 1st.
No one can understand all this thoughts,
BUt eveyone who lives hav these feelins fought.
All in all can we as humans,
do wat is right juz like infants.
WAt to do and when is right,
Wat comes after the darkness and the light.
Try as we may nth ever seems enough,
We cant be as pure as the peaceful doves.
But then wat is to be done is always now,
Wat we respond when the goin gets down.
Are we able to withstand it all,
To emerge victorious or to crumble and fall....***
SpankyJewels posted at 3:42 AM
* * * Life............... * * *
BlogChanged to a more recent song this time, one by Lin Jun Jie - Sa Dan A O(Korean for I-LUV-U). Very nice this song.
Sch
Slagged for a while today, Yingxi tested both Vin's and Yang's bike today, really looked like a biker gal!! Haha!! JJ's down with headache, but then with ample rest should do the trick.. ALso hopin Vin will past his final theory today, hopefully...
Com
Im SURPRISED tat bro did nt use the com yest and today, maybe he's too tired these few WEEKS playin the game..Well.. gd for me!! HeeHee...
Self
Filled with confusion abt wat i should do, but then, the ans are there alr. I always ask myself, God.. U had called me out into this place, changed me 180 degrees to one whereby none of my previous frds can barely recognize me...soo...soo.soo Mr Goody-Pants, I asked Him, Y did u bring me to this place, is it to let me exp pain, suffering, love-forsakeness.. As i was sharing wif JJ earlier on in the nite, i tot of the past me, i mean, wat i had was $, and there was countless gals who were willing to be wif one tat has...tats nt a worry for me in the past, I didnt even tot tat i could be in this type of situation be4..Maybe.... maybe He has called me, transformed me so tat i may exp this feeling of being rejected, being dumped, being lonely... My!! Hw the tables hav turned........ But ..all in all Im glad tat i hav became this way, piority being parents are ALOT more contented and eased tat im 'OK' nw.. Another being i now tat my future family would be a safe and gd one, because of the lifestyle im creating for them in the future..
Most ppl are always stayin in their comfort zones, one tat they would nt budge juz because they are too used to the lifestyle tat they are having nw, i mean, tats human, its very unbearable for u to tell them to change after so many years, sometimes these changes can be gd, eg..ME!! But then there could be bad ones also..
Couldnt slp, though i hav work later on after sch, i want to , but then my mind JUZ CANT STOP THINKIN..Of wat im nt sure, but then ag, of her who is yet to come...
************************************
Where is Thee,the one tat shall love me,
tat Thou shall comfort and make me 4get
these unnessary tots and ease me of
the lonliness and sorrow,
Riddin my bed of its ascending coldness,
and put in place of it warmth and bliss,
with words of comfort and tears of joy will u bring to me,
with joyous emotions and contented feelings
that is to me more important
than any gold or diamond in the world.
That the very words of urs bring with it summer,
the very presence drives away the winter cold.
The one tat is to come, but has yet to be,
waited hav i long for this bright sunny sun,
which would repel the dark rainy days of mine,
for her smile to melt away this frozen heart in me,
for her tears to wash away the cuts tat i had beared be4.
I cant see clearly but wif u, cant hear wisely wifout ur lenient reprimands,
walk but without aim, slp but wifout rest.
Come to me u who is out there,
show me the way tat i've walked halfway through,
but which had gotten so dim i need ur light of love,
to penetrate thru the shadows..
Believe tat i can giv, provide,
and show u tat im the one u can be with,
the one who will bring to u happiness,
life and never-ending bliss...
************************************
SpankyJewels posted at 5:08 AM
* * * Dead! * * *
HamsterI LOST Mickey and Minnie due to negligence on my part, i feel lost, sad, tat they are gone. Missed their playin ard the wheels, the sounds of theirs....
Work
My supervisor really heated me up, she DID nt say the reason y im CONSIDERED late tat day, all because i did nt bring the correct shirt tat day and she nag here and talked there and im late for 5 mins... (suppose to satrt at 1.30, i came 5mins be4hand but then i started at 1.35) In theend the manager tot i was late for very long till i told her the whole situation today..IM DAMNED ANGRY!!! but then gd for me the manager is my bro's frd, she asked me wat happened and also offered to giv me a pair of pants and shirts to wear for my work (and im plaanin to actually buy them, would hav costed me abt 100+!!)
Sch
watin for sch to start, waitn for this poly to end, waitin for work to start, waitin for my new car to arrive...PATIENTLY......
Self
smoking....quitting....trying...helplessly.....neverthelessly......stilly.....tryin.....
**The answers of which u were born wifout, the means of finding them which u were born with**
SpankyJewels posted at 2:18 AM
* * * theEnd, theBeginning.... * * *
SchEverythings fine for now, cept for the pros and homework which needs more time to it. The homework are just extra things which i feel must be done which includes things like doin tuts be4 the actual tut, readin the notes be4 elct and stuff... Just feelin kinda bored in sch, and in everywhere else, haizz.... the only place i wanna be everyday is the beach..... (Mr LAZEy bones!!).
Work
Will be quiting the job by this Sun, wasted i cant get the Chivas Bartender T-shirt!!!! Wanted to buy frm them but then the manager say cant!! Sian!! One thing gd though, Ive learnt another new skill in bartending, but then this is only the very basic and also not very standard bartending, but its an exp for me.. There are also funny incidents like for a few times the staff there mistook me for a customer and stopped me when im tryin to retrieve the cups frm their stations!!(This misunderstandin is because even though im supposed to wear the tshirt, because im nt confirmed, tats y i wore my own black color shirt to work.) There was once i went to take the teaspoons frms the buckets as there was a shortage, the supervisor who was there couldnt regcognice me and LITERALLY GRABBED my arm and asked "Sir, if u nid anything we can get for u.. " I mean, LOL, no words to say, haha!! And then today there was a staff at the stations, when im nearing the stations to look for an empty bucket, she used her SWEETEST smile and smiled and asked me, "Hi Sir, Gd evening! May i ask wat u are lookin for?"(this gal was VERY sweet in actual person itself) Her colleagues who knew who i was told her i was the bartender there and she turned very red, giggled and turned away. Later on when i saw her i faked an innocent face and asked her for a teaspoon, she laughed and jokingly passed me a dirty one, then we both laughed!! haha !, that was fun! On top of alll this, i was smokin at the behind area where the toilets were. A lady who was goin into the ladies stopped in her tracks when she saw a 'guy' come out of the ladies, but then in actual fact the 'guy' was actually a butch who looked COMPLETELY like a guy, the poor lady maybe had a fright of her life !!!!!!
haha!all in all it was quite fun workin there, but then this job is goin to end but another one is comin up, at first i was goin to go for an interview at Zouks, then just now my bro introed me to a job a Taka G2000, iand I think tat most prob im able to work there..wonderin if it is a gd thing or a bad one....
Bike
Esthers gonna be very mad alr cause i havent gave her the full servicin that she nids,,,somemore i ahvent been goin to malaysia, so everything shes abt to go empty...haha, maybe tom goin in alr..somemore i havent gave ehr a wash for like ages,,must wash her next week..
Self
Sat at my block downstairs yest, tot of Grace, of Esther(the real one!), tot of the time tat we were together, somehow or rather the gals tat ive really put in all my ehart i cant seem to forget them, they had alr been given a special place in my heart where i couldnt erase, tot of the times tat were sweet, of the times we had our arguements, of the times tat were so funny i smiled even now thinkin of them..Even though we have onli shared like abt 4 mths for each of them, they were nvr less important to me..Noein tat that special someone for each of us is out there somewhere, waiting to be discovered..Nevertheless, im waiting to see who is tat gal who will break tat 6mths mark(1/2yr) and eventually one yr..thinkin to my self tat the one who has seen BOTH my grandparents will roughly be the one tat will stay on wif me, for both Esther and Grace had onli seen one side of my grandparents, tat is my Fathers side, they havent seen my Mothers side, but then these things will hav to wait til im goin to work i guess, now in sch theres hardly any eligible 'flowers' tat i can pick, very few who suits the pattern i wan, but then hey! Ppl always say the one u always wanted isnt always the one u are gonna marry, so im givin it a pass now, until further notice...!!!
**Like the deserts in the storm,
Over mountains so high, rivers so wide.
Vexing on wat is my piority,
Escaping frm reality's clutches.
Many things ive yet to see,
Emotional stuff ive yet to experience.
Forgetting tat i am only a human,
Objecting tat i cant be a saint.
Realising for a fact im special...Even though im vulrulnable.
WIshing somehow i will succeed,
Hoping tat i will be the best.
On hills i will soar and seas i will rise, to obstacles i will conquer and troubles i will solve.
In all i can be the one i want, it all comes to a state of mind.
Answer is that we all must try,
Minding the facts that we all can fly!!**
SpankyJewels posted at 6:14 AM