Tuesday, September 13, 2005

* * * Everytime!!!!! * * *

Finally able to update my blog, (this is in sch as my com is down AGAIN)
Was the 1st one(for students) to reach lvl5 today, was VERY surprised tat no one was here, even FJ was empty! But then maybe its because its 7.30 in the mornin and ALL IT sutdents ARE SLACKERS!!!(Hmm...maybe...) :P

COM
MY COM SPOIL AG!!!!! Why???? Why God is it ALWAYS me?? My com is down ag for reasons unknown, and there is weird sounds comin out of it when i wanna on it. WORDLESS!! Somemore my songs juz finish sortin out (juz like the previous time!) and my application all inside. Two alternatives i hav, one is to change the hard disk(which i dun think will help for long) na dthe other is to change the internet line(which i still hav a contract of 8 mths!) Y, Y , Y ????? Maybe its a sign frm God to let me stop oning my com and REALLY focus on my exams!! haha!

Sch
Exams round the corner, hopin every1 does well for it. Things happened and characters seen, experienced hav i alot of things i've not seen be4, haiz..maybe the fault lies wif me, and not others, or am i too soft tat others start to climb on top ...Time will tell....

Bike
Did a few modifications to her, got for her a belly pant, some stickers, an air horn. More familiar wif her alr, gettin used to her every sound and movement. Now all tats left to get is a full face helmet, but then it wil hav to wait till later..

Self
Had a talk wif vin and the rest tat day abt me gettin a gal in sch, i was also thinkin if i dun get a gal soon, after poly it will be very hard for me to really find one, so decidin really hav to find a suitable one be4 i graduate, but hopefully the one tat i approach will accept and not reject. Im so afraid of rejection now, though its the process of chasin gals, i feel my skin has gotten soo thin tat any further rejection my whole body would hav tore apart alr.... Sound so desperate, but then the dayz of loneliness is not sumthing i enjoy very much, so empty, cold and cuts like a knife...

Stopped smokin today, hope it will last... i noe i can, if i wanted to...

Tot of sumthin while inside this empty lab by myself...

**Is it all, for tat sumthing tat wasnt there,
or will there be one.. of which others cant see..
or can u apprehend, the mystics of wat is to be..
or rather wat can be done in the search for the unknown.
To be able to tell others where u've been,
sayin tat u hav really been there..Where all it leads is still darkness,
when one could not be contented and yet be fulfilled.
Contradiction is wat is..and wat will be..Look carefully..
See the wondrous life of nature fill the emptiness..
let not your weary heart yearn for the untouchable, but..
crave for tat which is juz within our grip, and smear our lives...
with the contentment one will not find if not for willingness....**

SpankyJewels posted at 8:07 AM