Tuesday, June 14, 2005

* * * Sometimes honesty DOESNT help.. * * *

Got to see OOPJV tutor today, seems quite stern and not appreciative towards other ppl's efforts (Wat a 1st impression!!). Bandaged Sharon's hand today, hurt it somewhere i dun noe where, ppor thing, must hav hurt her so... Jane nvr come today, haiz, somethings' gonna cause her everything if she continues like thiz. Nth i can do to help her though, she'll hav to finish it herself.

Went for my 2nd prac 2 today, failed the thing though. Did everthing smoothly today, but then the last round i took the wrong test route, i could've slyly turned here turned there to avoid the instructor so as to get back to the ending pt but then i went one big round which will pass by the instructor. He asked me "Why u go by here?" I replied,"Oh.. I overshot the route goin back." And then he was like,"huh? Overshot, tat means u failed alr....." Shtye man, if i'd known i would not hav told him liao! Nvr mind, think of this as Heaven doesnt wan me to pass so easily cause it noes something will happen if i get the bike now. : ) Anyway tom's the next prac, hope everything goes well..

Mum came into my room today, nth weird abt it cept tat she was half cryin while talkin abt dad's condition and dun noe wat she should do and all tat stuff.. I told ehr she should not keep on worryin abt it and just try to let dad go for the therapy and the stuff, told her im prepared to quit sch if the neccessity comes. She doesnt want me to though... After tat i confessed to ehr the learning of the Class 2A thing and told her i might be considering getting a transport, assured her tat my ultimate transport is a car but then a car's not possible for me rite now and to hav a transport will be better cause sometimes i need to go ECP(East Coast PArk) to destress i told her, Sometimes i need to be alone , just be with the waves and with the beach and just let them comfort me in ways no one can ever do so.. Told her i'll look out for myself and do the things necessary to do, but then its hard for me to really concentrate when im not letting my stress flow out (Maybe its an excuse for playin maple...) Sometimes its really hard for me to focus on one thing when everything comes together, clashes on top of each other.. I want to be gd, i've promised tat i'll be gd, and i've done it thus far, no way i backin out... but then i just need a space i can go to, to redirect myself back to where i must be...Haiz...

Wanted to do something for the family but guess now is still not the time for me to do anything, feelin so helpless... i cant quit now, not now....
Cant slp, dun noe y, been havin these slpness nites, thinkin of nth, yet everything, wat then is freakin bothering me!!!???....

*There's a time for everything, a place for all things under the sun...*

SpankyJewels posted at 4:39 AM