**The Isle of Isolation**
* * * Strange.. * * *
WorkSaw the boss today, but then he doesnt look abit lke a boss lor, i mean he dresses sloppily, looks like a China man and he's very stingy...lol, next time i become boss i DUN WANNA become like him like tat!! Like Mel always says..... Ewwww!!! And a big one tat is!!!
REXX!!!
Cousin came to take his clothes tat he asked mum to do for him, then i asked him whether can let me drive his rex(Subaru WRX) anot, he said "y not, take it lor!" WAHH!! i went dwnstairs wif him and he introed me to 2 of his colleagues, Charlene and Evonne. After tat i drove his car to Sembawang Park, the engine died for the 1st few tmes cause im not very used to it , cause the clutch is like very hard lor! Int the end he SHOWED me hw its done, i can tell u he went into the corner like nobodys' business like tat lor, fast but accurate!!
Get to try and listen to the turbo also, 1 thing to say... SHOIK Ah!!! (Though not as shoik as the BMW of course!!)
Went back hm, touched maple a little bit, then shagged alr, wanted to enhance my blog but then theres some prob wif the songs ag, hope its ok in the morin...
SpankyJewels posted at 2:18 AM
* * * Better.. * * *
SchEverythings goin as planned, though the part of me goin late was not in it! Seems the storm has gone for now...
Blog
Finally able to do a quite ok chatter box, find for very long leh!
Study
studied til like 4plus in the mornin for the testb\ but glad i did it cause understood a lot of things haha!
seems to me my blog is gettin shorter and shorter hmmm...
**Dawn has come for the ones in darkness...**
SpankyJewels posted at 7:25 AM
* * * End of the month.. * * *
Finally gonna be the end of the mth alr, anticipating TP, shopping, and starting of the prac lessons and tests in sch... All the best to all out there for these things.Work
work was ok today, had not so many ppl but then in the nite alot of ppl came because of the NDP thing. One thing which really AWAKENED me though, was rushing to get the dishes done and was washing the fondue fork, washed too hurriedly tat half of the 2 sided fork abt 0.5 cm, went rite into my thumb and i went like eyse wide awake, body suddenly became more alive!!! TOTAL AWAKENING!!!
Temper
Been to the extent of losin it these few days, cant control welll my temper now..y? Maybe because of PMS... who noes!!??
**Help comes in the stranges places....**
SpankyJewels posted at 12:15 AM
* * * Alot of items.. * * *
VisitingWent to Granma's hs again on thurs, they are very haappy to see me and filled me wif lotsa fruits and food and boy am i pampered!! lol. later on they calle ddad to pick yup durians (fav) and mangosteens and fruits they had bought, wahh!!heaven!!
Accident
Mel and Gui got into an accident causeed by a crazy-assed driver who knocked them and ran away, lol, hope he kana big big trouble wif the law...otherwise poor mel and gui looked so "ke lian" was so angry when i heard the news but nth i could do now, they went to see doc today, pray tat all goes well and nth is wrong, somemore hope tat gui wioll be able to sell his bike..
Jamming
Came out for guitat session wif Irvin, jj, pearline, ti, wen, clarence. Clarence let me drive his BMW 318I!!! IT WAS SOOO GD LOR the feelin! SHIOK AH, HAHAHA happy im so happy!! : p
the absolute feelin of oneness wif the car and hw smooth the engine is and wat feelin the car can giv a person...though came back 5plus, still very shiok and hope to get tat next time... fav man!!
BadMood
Someones in a bad mood today, despite cheerin her up, STILL in BAD MOOD, Hmmm.. wonder wat happen, anyway, cheer up k, nth is more beautiful then a smile in this world!!
**It takes abt 34 muscles to frown and only 17 muscles to smile, so if u are not thinkin of a heavil muscled face, PLZ SMILE!!! : )**
SpankyJewels posted at 6:20 AM
* * * * * *
Dun noe wat to write alr, i've actually written a blog and goin to post it when the page replied cant be sent, the whole thing just went bonkers and the my blog vanished into thin air! (HOORAY for the dun noe wat thing tat had caused this prob! LOL!) Now i hav to think wat to write alr as i've totally forgotten wat i've written just now.... Cant write too much hough, later Andrew will say i very "LOR SO"!!Passed!
Finally finished all my pracs so now waiting for TP which will be in July 19. Hope everything goes well..
Someone to noe abt
Saw someone tat i had wanted to noe for quite some time but then did not hav the courage to actually go up to her, seems like everytime i wanted to go up to her my tongue would get tied up and then i would just freeze up and walk away as if nth has happened. Haiz totally disappointed wif the new Adam, loser!! Just cant muster up anything to say to her.....
Sensitivity
The guys had gave me quite a bit of gd console few days be4, though they might not hav realized it, they had given comfort and relief to me much more then they could ever think of! thkz man!
ECP(East Coast Park)
Wanted to go there tonite to be wif the waves and the nite sky but then time does not allow tat to happen, tom got a morning class.. : ( Somemore promised Mel tat i will be in bed by 11.30. (Im a gd boy ok!!) HAv to wait till the weekend comes alr..
PS : Hope all this isnt too long Andrew, i've shortened ALOT LOR!!! =p
Dun noe if i had posted this be4 but it is very meaningful....
**If only silence is the only way to end everything...**
SpankyJewels posted at 11:08 PM
* * * One gd deed deserves another.. * * *
Went to class late (ag!!), but then i feel sorry for the poor teacher, abt 1/3 of the class did not go for the tut, but then i can still understand wat he is sayin, tat means he is still quite gd mah...Got a bit satisfied wif java today, cause most of the codes do myself one! : ) But then also got help frm irvin, jj and jason also, thkz guys..I PASSED MY PRAC 2, so happy i could KISS the instructor!! He overlooked my goin out of course in the bumpy course and also my putting of the rite leg on the ground (both of which are immediate failures to most instructors) Lucky, Lucky, Lucky!!! Finally able to book my circuit revision (tom) and also Prac 3 (tom nite) Happy, Happy, Happy!!! After tat i passed by the busstop overlookin the police station and saw an uncle sleepin there, when i reached his side he looked up and continued wif his sleepin, felt sory for him and approached him askin if he had eaten, he said no and i passed him $10 to eat. (He looked so "Ke Lian lor", no shirt, unshaved beard, slpin on the bus stop seat!) My heart really went out to him, told myself tat if i continue to slag next time will become like him like tat (not an insult but an encouragement to me, to call me to persevere on..) Really poor thing him...
Went back by the MRT and saw a couple which the gal looked very like Esther(but not), tot of her and memories flooded back, maybe wat Sharon said is true, still cant let go after these four and a half yrs, still think of her and had let no one else enter my life, Immaturity, stubbornness, perhaps i've not grown up yet, perhaps its just the way things are.... Left a scar that was put there to stay, a place where none can sway...
*It is but a fraction or time spent, a period of bliss that, far sadness went.
Left something permanent, yet fragile as a new born infant.
Used all kinds of things to replace it, but in the end none ever did.
My fault to let it all remain, it was mine, the cause of the pain.
Emptiness, sorrow is nothing to, the feelin of loss that i've been a fool.
Life goes on as it always will, humans change as they are frail.
Feelins doesnt and nvr will, end of life it then will heal......*
SpankyJewels posted at 1:21 AM
* * * Sometimes honesty DOESNT help.. * * *
Got to see OOPJV tutor today, seems quite stern and not appreciative towards other ppl's efforts (Wat a 1st impression!!). Bandaged Sharon's hand today, hurt it somewhere i dun noe where, ppor thing, must hav hurt her so... Jane nvr come today, haiz, somethings' gonna cause her everything if she continues like thiz. Nth i can do to help her though, she'll hav to finish it herself.Went for my 2nd prac 2 today, failed the thing though. Did everthing smoothly today, but then the last round i took the wrong test route, i could've slyly turned here turned there to avoid the instructor so as to get back to the ending pt but then i went one big round which will pass by the instructor. He asked me "Why u go by here?" I replied,"Oh.. I overshot the route goin back." And then he was like,"huh? Overshot, tat means u failed alr....." Shtye man, if i'd known i would not hav told him liao! Nvr mind, think of this as Heaven doesnt wan me to pass so easily cause it noes something will happen if i get the bike now. : ) Anyway tom's the next prac, hope everything goes well..
Mum came into my room today, nth weird abt it cept tat she was half cryin while talkin abt dad's condition and dun noe wat she should do and all tat stuff.. I told ehr she should not keep on worryin abt it and just try to let dad go for the therapy and the stuff, told her im prepared to quit sch if the neccessity comes. She doesnt want me to though... After tat i confessed to ehr the learning of the Class 2A thing and told her i might be considering getting a transport, assured her tat my ultimate transport is a car but then a car's not possible for me rite now and to hav a transport will be better cause sometimes i need to go ECP(East Coast PArk) to destress i told her, Sometimes i need to be alone , just be with the waves and with the beach and just let them comfort me in ways no one can ever do so.. Told her i'll look out for myself and do the things necessary to do, but then its hard for me to really concentrate when im not letting my stress flow out (Maybe its an excuse for playin maple...) Sometimes its really hard for me to focus on one thing when everything comes together, clashes on top of each other.. I want to be gd, i've promised tat i'll be gd, and i've done it thus far, no way i backin out... but then i just need a space i can go to, to redirect myself back to where i must be...Haiz...
Wanted to do something for the family but guess now is still not the time for me to do anything, feelin so helpless... i cant quit now, not now....
Cant slp, dun noe y, been havin these slpness nites, thinkin of nth, yet everything, wat then is freakin bothering me!!!???....
*There's a time for everything, a place for all things under the sun...*
SpankyJewels posted at 4:39 AM
* * * Total DISASTER!!! * * *
ARGHHHH!!! Went for prac 2 today, everything went smoothly and im even confident of goin into Prac 3. Then it happened.. all the courses i was able to go on without a hitch and then came the revision test route for us to familarise ourselves with the actual day test route. Went thru all the courses and it seemed ok til the shalom, a zig zag lane with cones in the middle for us to zig zag our bike thru...AND.. we're supposed to close trottle after each of the cones but then my bike touched a little of the cones and i panicked and turned the trottle all the way up!! My bike went all the way straight(seems nth wrong rite??).... ALL THE WAY TO THE BUSHES AT THE SIDE!! I PRACTICALLY went INTO the bushes!! in the end i landed on the grass with the bike on top of me lol.. I was thinkin to myself "SHTYE!! gonna fail this one liao, was so close to passin this one!!" In the the bike had to be pulled out of the bushes onto the road by 5 instructors..Quite a damage frm where i could see, the leg stand was broken, mirrors broke, tank little dented, and there were pieces which i could not discern wat they are. LOL! as if "kana" a major accident like tat!!! Failed the Prac and was told that i was goin well and tat the instructor was goin to pass me, but then i accident liao hw to pass me, Haiz......At 1st i tot theres nth wrong wif me only juz a few cuts and bruises. Later when i reached hm and took off my clothes, theres not much injuries lah, wif only cuts to my face, cuts on my neck, bruises on my lower part of the neck, pain in my stomach, rite leg swelled up, cuts on my hips and chest......LOL... Now i like limpin a little here and there, and somemore i booked prac for tom.......
Parents havent noticed abt the cuts yet, somemore they did not noe i went for lessons(they always disapprove of my learnin motor), if they noe i got into an accident they will NVR allow me to ride a bike!! Lets hope everything goes smoothly now..
*Quitters nvr win, winners nvr quit...*
SpankyJewels posted at 11:29 PM
* * * Welcome.. * * *
Aunties and uncles came today to visit dad, hs like a fish market like tat!! Noisy, laughter filled the hs while i took the role of the maid attending to each and everyone's requests, washed the plates, poured drinks, went dwnstairs to buy things etc, etc...Tidied room cause cant study with all the ruckus, after tat nth to do so mapled for a while...
Hope later on can study and will not fall aslp!
Tom's Prac 2 liao, lets hope will pass the thing cause i can faster go self prac and also be in time for the tp test on 12 july! if not dun noe wait hw long liao...
*Because u're used to it alr doesnt mean u hav to bear wif it,
when its time to let go its time to do so..
Why continue to hurt urself and refuse to go out of the comfort zone,
because if u come out, there will be better things in store for u.
Only if u try.....*
SpankyJewels posted at 12:03 AM
* * * Photobucket * * *
This is a test post from Photobucket.comSpankyJewels posted at 10:31 PM
* * * Waiting.. * * *
Went for tut but teracher nvr come, lol. i was early ok! At least earlier then the grace period given! After tat the few of us decided to hav breakfast at Mac, wanted to start on the VB thing but then we talk here talk there reach lab time for next lab lesson liao..After the sch, wanted to finish up my VB tut but then was jammed up at the coding part, i noe i juzt need a little bit more to finish up the thing but still cant complete it! haiz! y am i soo "lan" leh???Went to Prac 1 little late, was anxious and nervous as im really not used to driving a bike, wats more a Super-4!! But then the ironic thing was i failed in the 1st time was because of my helmet and was not so gd in figure 8 and crak course, quite ok with e-brake and bumpy.Today figure 8 and crank course can but then my bumpy cant!! Somemore when the instructor was givin an example on e-brake, some of the guys there wif me kept sayin "lets hope he falls down, fall down fall down!"Bad! BUt then the instructor was very gd one, he taught well and was very friendly and nice,and of course cause he let me pass mah!! : )
Feelin im bonded by the mapling and narutoing these days, somehow im sucked into this black hole of slaggedness and cant come out, if this continues sure cant do well AG for the exam!
*The rain comes and washes over the lands,
the wind blows over the soft, silk sands.
Rain brings tears to all kinds of ppl,
Whether big or small, great or little.
Nobody noes the comfort it brings,
Or the disaster it can swing.
Rain is just like a comforter,
That brings joy but O so little.
I cant help but wonder so,
how it is my frd not foe,
There is nothing like it in the world,
On the lands that spread and winds that swirl.
It brings away my tears and sorrows,
And gave short comfort that it could borrow.
The smell of the rain always feel so nice,
which suffering and sadness cannot entice.
But sad to say, its a reality,
That the rain's short short, so temporary.
Thats how it is with our lives,
Where sorrows soar and happiness dies.....*
SpankyJewels posted at 2:17 AM
* * * Friendly allies.. * * *
Went to school late ag, cant go for lecture cause abt 20 mins late, so in the end went up to lab. Saw Sharon who was also late and later met Nas Who was late...so many frm our class, found out frm the conversation tat they were not so studious and innocent as i tot they were.. An angel with a devil's horn..Ironic..But all in all they are still very gd gals and hope they will score in anything they want..Went to work today, before i actually went inside there, i went to the area overlookin the Merlion and looked at the scenery there, very nice!! gazed there and recollected how i came to be here in the 1st place, then tot abt the past and hw i've changed til now, well, i've got to "Kampatai" and work harder now tat dad's in this situation liao...There was this gal singing there (think its a rehearsal or something) She had an angelic voice and she has a very gd vocal, but then the thing that spoilt everything is tat she is shakin her legs while singin with a microphone with dozens of onlookers watching and admiring her songs, Image TOTALLY spoilt! wasted...Tot it would be better if she sang with a table covering her legs!!
Colleaugues were very helpful towards me,very GD!! Although today is a little bit busy, the job seems fun and the time passes by very fast. Even though i've made some mistakes, i guess overall its still a very nice job for mew to get, now's hopin next week wil get more days to work..savin up for the SUPER 4!! Somemore the TP went to 12 July liao, haiz, dun noe by the time i can book for it will become when liao?? thinkin maybe end of July..
Hav to really buck up and start studyin seriously liao, these few days like a little slag.. cant slag for too long, otherwise exam com sure die one..
*There is a name called love, who helps those in need and strengthens those who are in bliss...*
SpankyJewels posted at 2:04 AM
* * * 1st... * * *
Went to sch very late today, class at 8 i 8.45 then go, luckily the teacher VERY gd one. He marked our attendance and also taught quite ok for me. Everythings' seems fine with everyone still lookin fine, lots ppl wearin contacts today, Sharon, JJ, Grace, Chermaine.. All "Ai Mei One" =p.. But then the contacts are very nice lor, must get them someday liao, these few days too busy..Tom's goin work liao, wat will it be like.. hmmm.. lets hope everythings' goes well.
FAILED my practical one today, shyte! the helmet is toooo tight lor, and tat is the biggest liao, (large), instructor say got XL but i cant find a single one !! Think next prac (Fri) will hav to wear own one liao, lazy to bring frm hm to sch and then to prac, somemore gotta bring elbow and knee guards tat they hav given us free to wear, troublesome ah! The helmet tat i wore today at 1st is all rite, but then it feels like my head is squeezed by a wheel clamp like tat and i couldnt concentrate lor, shortly after abt half of the prac has past i went up to the instructor and asked him wat he tot of my riding truthfully, he said im still not used to it and hav to come back ag, i told him if tats the case i wanted to rest early and dun hav the prac liao, told him abt the helmet and he said ok. Rested til they came back, wanted to carry on but too hurting liao...Wasted!
Was very angry during dinnertime, i slept lying on my bed abt 1 hr plus to 7, dinner was prepared and dad called me to eat, but then u noe rite, when u juz woke up u would wanna lie on the bed for a while mah. He waited for a while (mum isnt even ready yet!), and then told my mum tat dun care abt me alr, call me wake up dun listen, let me sleep for all i like. i mean wats his prob man??? he is sick i noe, but then he shouldnt say things like tat mah, f***ing pissed off! He say until like i dun care abt the family dinner and stuff lor, at 1st i wanted to use the lame excuse of oversleeping to skip dinner, then later on i finally went and had it, dad's like very angry for i dun noe wat!!! Dun wanna argue with him and quickly ate dinner and went back to rm... Haiz...Counsellor of others but fail in my area...
*Studious....hardworking....laziness.....boredom... what of them??*
SpankyJewels posted at 10:37 PM
* * * Soo fast.. * * *
Tom will be tuesday alr.. seems so fast. but for now all the things seems managable, lets hope it stays tat way..Hung my DIY curtain today, seems quite nice and wanted to post it but cant cause the bloggerbot thing sort of rejected it, haiz, y leh?? Dun noe...
Tom's Dad gonna go to hospital ag, if his illness still doesnt improve he'll hav to stay in hospital ag...Mum's been kinda sad, can feel it but still feel so helpless that i cant do anything to do to this family now cept tat i study and pass the poly thing.. Grandpa and Grandma came today, went hm just as i came back, MISSED THEM SOOO!! Just loved them lor.. somemore they bought alot of fruits (their style), BUT they forgot to bring my fave longan. : (
Saw her today but nth i can do, been a helper of others but then total loss when it comes to myself, hw leh???? failure?wanna try?hurt others?hurt myself? Too much questions, no answers...
*You'll feel happy if the ones u truly like are happy, even if they are not by your side....(issit true?)*
SpankyJewels posted at 1:53 AM
* * * No time.. * * *
Spent the whole day installing most of the programs, but then left .NET and microsoft tools havent dl, no disc for them lol. DL this uninstall tat, didnt realize it was nite alr... practically no time to study for my things, but hey, my coms goin on smoothly liao ,i think.Wanted to scan my com but norton WOULDNT START, keeps jamming up (PLZ dun tell me i've another virus or something ag!!) Hiaz, i giv up alr.....
Now my com's done, have to trouble ALL my frds for their songs liao, then hav to filter out not so nice one and really do a back up for all these.. wasted all my pics are gone... got some really nice ones..
Uncle Seng came by today to pass me the materials i needed for the insurance thing, but then now i juz need the comparison of prudential and NTUC, gotta search my namecards and find their num alr (wanted to use those agents which gene and bro recommended, but then they are too young and toooo persistent. No gd!)
Next Wed 1st prac! Finally..waited for very long alr..will hav to faster finish up the pracs (earliest TP is 21 June, must try to make it then).
Next thursday start work at Chocolate Bar liao, wondering hw would it be like, the ppl, the work there, the boss...lets hope everything comes out fine..
Been sensing alot of emotional baggage thrown here and there, guess Cupid's been flyin all ard shootin alot of arrows he shouldnt hav, but then being the Bobo Shooter he always hav been, he's shot some pretty well-aimed ones..(But somehow or rather he STILL MISSED ME!!! Must get him a pair of specs alr.....).
*Why look for love when there is none, why search for it when it declines to be found?
Why choose to be sad rather then joyful, to be loved rather then to be blissful?
What does Love actually seek, nth special, just for it not to be weak.
Why does one always hav to suffer, keeps quiet as if bound by a muffler?
Why is there always togetherness, when sometimes there is sperateness?
Is it rite then to be wrong, towards one of whom u seemed so fond.
Or is it wrong to be rite, in reality tat hurts and feelings not light?
Humans fall in love so easily, yet most always come out of it feeblely.
they noe the wrong frm rite of it, but the opposite they hav always did.
In spite of all tat has happened, towards the unknown none can fathom.
Noe tat true love can be found, and all who passes it be safe and sound..*
SpankyJewels posted at 2:52 AM
* * * The beginning frm the end.... * * *
FINALLY, I'm back to blog everything tat've happened during these few days of "Pon Tanning", and its not my fault lor! Dun noe y my com's ALWAYS so fragile and vulnerable, the hard disk sort of crashed when im mapling and DLing naruto...LOL! WHY? WHY? WHY does it ALWAYS have to be me, I dun care if its hackers or crackers or virus or horses or worms or cockraoches or insects or wtf! But then my computer DOESNT HAVE any TOP SECRET documents or mysterious files or acc numbers or MILLIONS of cash to take frm, neither does it hav sophisticated access codes or program files or antique things to steal frm, then WHY does it always hav to be MY computer tat kana all these nonsense????? I DUN SURF PORN (Honestly not now anyway =p), Dun DL frm kazaa, Dun go to any illicit websites and im FACKING SICK of DL ALL MY PROGRAMS frm scratch!!! ARGHHHHHHH!!! Wats more...I'VE NOT BEEN MAPLING FOR 4 DAYS!!! ARGHHHHHH!!! AND... I"VE MISSED 3 EPISODES OF NARUTO!!! ARGHHHHH!!!!Whew! Finally vented out all that is needed to come out, lets just hope tat my com will be more "zhen qi tian" and become a funtionable and NORMAL com will do, dun expect much..
Took the trouble to go Sim Lim, bought a 40GB hard disk and a norton anti virus and then rushed all the way back to install all my programss.frm 10 plus install till 4plus in the mmoring, in the end cant take it anymore slept with com still on....gotta finish this blog then continue install ag.. headache alr..thinking of installin the .NET is troublesome enough liao.. Somemore bro gave me that face of "YOU! the killer of my pros and songs and stuff!" I mean its not really my fault mah, wat can i do if the hard disk decides to take a holiday???? (He did not do any backup for his 1st and 2nd yr's stuff and one of the pros is to be handed in in 2 weeks time...) Wanted to study today but guess this installation process will go on...luckily yest on the mrt to Sim Lim i got read a little...haha.
*A man who conquers his mind conquers all..*
SpankyJewels posted at 2:47 PM
* * * Love... * * *
| Siva came today, sorta glad to see him alive ,well and kickin..hope he will do well in watever he's doin... Nth happened much, cept tat dad's been naggin alot lately, cant stand it liao...plus the things at hm and my personal stuff... still gonna survive all these things, treating it as a test against my perserverance against all odds... *Love, a word undescribable, yet known to all. Is it but a fraction of time spent wif the other one or a piece of hurtful memory longing to past. How can one really fathom it, understand it, nay. It is to belittle it, to enable the deception of it to grow. But then how shall we acknowledge it? How to really use it to our advantage? LOve hurts , but then it heals too. It seperates some, but then it bring others together too. What is it then? None will ever fullly comprehend it, for it doesnt seek to be understood, but more , it seeks to be felt and shared. Not askin for anything else but the growth and maturity of it. Only this way u will feel it, and it will embrace u. Dun seek to avoid it, for it brings none happiness, dun squeeze it and be controlling though, it dies faster. Be as the lightness of the wind and yet the firmness of a lion's grip while dealin wif it, it yearns to be inside the the same two hearts who've said "i loved u", and hopes to stay there. But humans, always doesnt wanna go out of thier comfort zone and face the unknown, how will then u noe? Be strong wif love ,and weak against each other. For the seperation of two souls is more hurtful then tat of the banishment to the 18th level of hell, the pain, torment, nth can describe it. And loneliness, the results of which u will get, will fill ur soul and heart and cause u more harm u cant think impossible. Humans want passion, but failed in their commitment to the rite one, y? Is it because they are tired, sick of the present one, or because they wan a new love to remember how they hav felt in the past.. the soothing embrace of it... The fact is.. it will end reality will sink in, ALL will face it. 1st comes the romance period, then the "sick and tired of u" period, the trial period, and the endurance period. What becomes of love? either it strengthens or it is casted.. Once u have lost it, then regret visits, y? .......Love, think wisely be4 u want it to come.........* |
SpankyJewels posted at 1:52 AM